Fundraising isn't my Forte
by AleatoryW
Summary: The Jedi Order is flat Broke. To combat this, the Council has given Obi-wan and Anakin a rather unusual task, but Obi-wan is outright refusing to participate. Because he has dignity, standards, and no idea how to face his crush. Humorous one-shot. Mid-Clone Wars era.


**I wrote this all last night in a fit of... sleeplessness. You know, that time of night when everything's funny? And you get all the best ideas and they're hilarious so you have to write them down? I had the plot for this in my head for days, but only at one in the morning was it funny enough to write. Let me know if it's still funny by the light of day, alright?**

* * *

"No, no, and no!" a few heads turned to see who was causing such a commotion in the center of the Temple, but upon seeing Anakin and Obi-wan, they turned back to their meditation, or reading, or whatever, because the scene was all too familiar, and showed no promise of ending anytime soon.

"Calm down, Master. It's just-"

"I am not calming down. Nor do I need to calm down." Kenobi, the older but shorter of the pair, was storming from the lift, arms crossed and jaw set firmly.

"And whenever _I _feed _you _that line, you say…?"

"If you're bothered by the fact that I told you to calm down, you need to calm down." Obi-wan recited. "But that is not the point."

"We can talk this all out rationally."

"No, Anakin." Obi-wan whipped around to look at his former apprentice. "No, we really can't."

Anakin let out a frustrated sigh. "You're the negotiator. Work something out with them."

"Negotiating works if you are willing to compromise something on your side. And I am _not,_" he turned away and kept walking, "compromising _anything."_

"Look. Obi-wan." Anakin easily kept up, his longer stride covering the distance between them quickly. "This wasn't my idea. I think it's a stupid idea. But I'm willing to go along with it because I really don't mind."

"I wonder when the last time you've gone along with anything was." Kenobi muttered under his breath.

"And the council told me that I had to convince you to get on board with this."

"Well then, you're going to have to report that you've failed. I am _not _throwing away my dignity for the sake of-"

"Master. Let me ask you a serious question. Why not?"

"Why not?" Obi-wan appeared to have taken the advice of calming down, because he was speaking reasonably again. "I'll tell you why not. I'm _not _a pin-up boy."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "That's the whole point. You're a famous general. People will pay money for your pictures, and then the Order won't be broke. It's a win-win. We get donations, they get something to… hang on their wall and… swoon over."

"Yes, win-win. Except for me. Which is why I am NOT doing this." He'd reached the staircase and began to descend. "I am _not _taking my shirt off in front of the entire universe for a few petty _donations._"

"It's not the entire universe. It's one guy with a camera." Anakin stopped at the top of the staircase for a moment, then sat down on the banister and slid to the bottom casually.

"Who will then share the pictures with the entire universe." Obi-wan stopped short as Anakin stood back up at the bottom of the stairs, blocking his path.

"It's really not that big of a deal." His tone had become more comforting than pleading, and the younger Jedi stared right into Kenobi's, as his master had never taken the last step down. "I'm doing the same thing; it's going to raise a ton of money; and if I had a wife, which I don't, she'd be completely okay with it." Anakin paused. "And besides, I've seen you at the pool, you're not ugly."

"It's not _about _the shirtless thing. It's about dignity. How am I going to keep living my life knowing that there are pictures of me- out there?" Obi-wan's eyes unfocused. "How am I going to fight Asajj Ventress knowing she's probably seen me like this? I will never live that down." One hand ran through his hair, as though he could feel the stress of this already.

"Just look her in the eye and acknowledge that you're hot, you know it, she knows it, and now the world knows it."

"_Force no. _I can't do that Anakin. Not with Ventress. I will lose all composition, our whole tone of dialogue will be thrown off, she'll tease me to death about-"

"Yeah, I guess it is different for me. Especially since you like her and all." At Obi-wan's look of pure, unadulterated horror, Anakin continued, "Come on. It's not hard to tell. It's like you're walking around with 'Asajj Ventress is amazing' written on your robe front sometimes."

"Anakin." Obi-wan paused. "I _hate _you sometimes." He pushed past his former apprentice, and walked off down the hall, still cross.

"I'll take that as a maybe?"

**Where this came from I have no idea.**


End file.
